Mildred Evelyn Parsons

August 3, 1931 – May 22, 2016

In order:
Born
Daughter, of her parents
Sister, to her younger sister, and even younger brother
Wife, to her husband
Mother, to her two children
Widow
Died

A source of joy to some; to others she was a puzzle, an enigma. Short-tempered, violent, surprisingly forgiving of some errors. Even more frustrating was her ability to remember some behavioral slight for months (years in a couple instances) coupled with the desire to keep you informed of the slight.

Frying pans, umbrellas, whatever came to hand might be used to augment the display of her wrath.

She married our father because she was, in her own words, “spoiled goods.” Trust me, it makes your kids feel welcomed in to the maternally protective embrace when they determine that they are the offspring of an otherwise unwanted marriage partner.

And the dogs.

If she had spent 1/4 as much time on, and with her kids as she spent on her blessed dogs the kids might have a slightly different experience, opinion.

She, and her sister, married someone (anyone?) to get away from her parents. She married my father, her sister married a Catholic, my uncle never married (for a variety of reasons socially untenable in the time) and she said to me ‘I’ll not speak to you as long as you’re with that woman.’

But ‘that woman,’ Arlene, was the best thing that could happen to this son, at that age, and in those conditions. And Arlene died, owed money for endless dog and puppy-sitting, that dear old Mom conveniently ‘forgot.’

And when Arlene and I split, all my fault (or at least the mechanisms of a forced ‘breakup’ are examined it’s all my fault) dear old Mom refused to talk to me.

Then it was time to go to the vet’s, to get neutered, and her first concern was “What about the family name?”

You didn’t want to marry him and now you’re worried about the family name?

I was there when Walter (also ‘Brad’ to his friends) died, in effect I killed him by authorizing the suspension of life-support. I wrote his obituary. I organized his wake.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/vancouversun/obituary.aspx?n=walter-bradshaw&pid=157297760

I’ll not do any of that for Mildred Evelyn Parsons, my mother. Our mother.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s